Being yourself is the greatest reward

By luke christisen

 Throughout my entire life I have been ruthlessly and relentlessly chased.
I have always run as fast as I can, all in the foolhardy hopes that somehow I can elude my greatest fear. That fear being difference.

 Since I can remember I have always tried to assimilate to the norm, never successfully quenching my undying thirst for acceptance.
In middle school I was brutally rejected and isolated, simply for being overweight.

 I then, in an attempt to gain acceptance within myself and from others, started running, and watching everything I ate.
I managed to drop the weight, but I found no solace.

 However with the coming of high school I have had to come to terms with something that will forever keep me apart from my fellow classmates, something that will forever prevent me from gaining my long sought after acceptance: I’m gay.

 Trying to seek some sense of normalcy while being openly homosexual in a less than accepting environment such as high school opens doors to many outlandishly hurtful and humiliating experiences.

 I’ve been through it all, from the food throwing, name calling lunch table my freshman year to random people shoving me to the ground my junior year.
I’ve tried my best to walk with my head held high and stay true to the inner me, but that’s not always as easy as it sounds.

 When it comes to matters of sexual orientation, it doesn’t matter how you break it down; people have their opinions.

 Sometimes they are brutal and unfounded opinions that hold others and myself back from being considered “normal” and leading constructive teenage lives.

 Despite others’ personal opinions, I know what’s true to me.

 I have always been this way and I feel that it’s due to my homosexuality that I’ve tried to compensate for my difference by trying so hard to be like others.

 When I take the time to reflect on all that I have foolishly tried, simply for the tiniest hint of acceptance, I feel completely and utterly silly.

 Being myself is the greatest gift that I can possibly give myself.

 If I don’t take the time out of my day to remember how great of a person I am, who will?

 The path that I am on in this lifetime has never been very clear, nonetheless I am on the path for the long haul, so I’ll just try to avoid the potholes and make it to my destination, whatever it may be